Juice Fast Progress

Friday, March 12, 2010

Day 24: Enough already

This final stretch is tough. I feel soooooo weak. I've been very irritable and short - yesterday there were kids crying near the day care and I was genuinely upset with them. When you find yourself actually thinking, "WHY WON'T THAT ONE-YEAR-OLD JUST SHUT UP?", you know you've turned the grouchiness corner.

I had to eat a little bit of food last night (indian lentil soup), because I was just spinning in my head, in an almost panicky way, "must eat must eat must eat must eat must eat must eat". I spent a lot of yesterday counting the days, the hours, the minutes left...  I realize this is mostly mental, but still - whatever this is, it is hard.  I'm having difficulty finding enthusiasm for anything, which sucks.

It'll pass.

Thursday, March 11, 2010

Day 23 pt 2: Final Quarter

As of my 3pm drink, I've passed 3/4 done.

Hunger in the last few days has been apocalyptic. Pang, pang, pang.

Day 23: You kids get off my lawn

I'm super-irrationally irritable today. I have no idea why. I can definitely say that I'm ready to re-join the food eaters, though.  One week left.

I can do it, but man - I'd kill for some breakfast tacos.

Wednesday, March 10, 2010

Day 22: Parallels

So, according to the Juice Fasting 'what to expect' link that Nicole sent me last week, in days 16-30, the physical cleansing begins to be 'complete', and the body shifts to emotional, mental, energetic cleaning.

But, I mean... just because physical detoxification was physically challenging, that doesn't mean that emotional detoxification would be emotionally challenging, though, right...?    Right?   Oooof.

I'm going back to my blanket/couch-cushion fort. I shall only be disturbed for Cinnamon Buns.

(Also, 3 weeks DONE! First day of week 4!!!)

Tuesday, March 09, 2010

Day 21 pt 3: HUNGER

Man, this last stretch is challenging. I am really, really, really hungry.

Day 21 pt 2: One more thing

Hey, if you're reading this... throw down a comment. I could use the moral support! (Nicole & Stacy, you have been doing this, and it's awesome).

Day 21: Final Third

Today is the first day of the last third of my fast, and also the last day of the third week.

It's getting to the point where I don't really even know how to keep this interesting... I feel like it's just more of, "I feel great, I'm wearing clothes from 10 years ago (the stylish ones), I am more positive and happy, why don't we all do this all the time"? 

I am thinking more and more about how to make this feeling last beyond the fast, while still getting to embrace the loving preparation and sharing of food.  I don't have any answers yet.

One humorous thing that I've noticed is what I call, "subconscious eating". Yesterday I went to the grocery store to get butcher bones to make bone broth for a friend who just gave birth.  While I was waiting for them to package things up, there was a display with samples of chips & salsa.  And then suddenly I had one in my mouth. From a consciousness point of view, it was an immediate jump, as though my brain was like, "Right, so - the conscious part keeps thwarting my attempts to get us food, despite all the extra focus and alertness I gave it. Time for plan B. We need to turn off the conscious part for a few seconds - long enough to get chips, but not so long as to end up walking into traffic."  I'm not trying to shirk responsibility for phantom snacking, I just think it was funny that the willpower part seemingly got circumvented.  Very sneaky, brain...

Monday, March 08, 2010

Day 18, 19, 20: Enlightenment, Slips

This was an epic weekend. We had friends in from out of town, Avatar won the VFX Oscar, and I sat through not one, not two, but three gatherings of friends in which food was lovingly prepared and consumed. I managed to succeed at not cheating, other than a small taste of the homemade breakfast hash at one particular gathering.

At yoga on Sunday morning, I felt like my body had mostly adjusted to this new nutritional foundation. I felt light, strong, and entirely without panic. I think that's the thing I notice most about this process - a lack of panic, anxiety, and a noticeable decrease in stress, in every-day things.  I am calm and cheerful as a default, and that's really refreshing (and new).

I said to Mary after class on Sunday that I didn't know that this process would be a miracle. Indulging my love of hyperbole, for sure, but it really does feel somewhat miraculous.  My body has changed more in 20 days than I would have believed possible.  On Friday night, I wore pants that I got as a gift on my 25th birthday. On Saturday, I wore the pants that I'd been keeping around as a 'maybe one day' hopeful thing. They were loose. 

So... all of this makes me feel pretty bad about totally screwing up last night.  For some reason, our fireplace turned on in the middle of the night and I couldn't find the remote to switch it off. As I wandered around the kitchen at 3am, looking everywhere for the remote... it got me.  Our friends had ordered pizza from Little Star - deep dish, Chicago Style - and there was like a little less than half a piece left. A taste turned into more tastes turned into there-is-no-more-pizza.  It was phenomenal tasting, of course.  I feel like I weigh twenty pounds more this morning. I'm not beating myself up about it too much, but I can clearly feel that it has sorta damped the feeling of great change.

Still, I can't be too disappointed, overall. I feel wonderful, and today is a new day.