Day 17: Ow

A strange side effect of this fasting is that my flexibility has increased dramatically, seemingly by itself. It's not in response to any aggressive stretching on my part. This is fun and interesting, but it also means there's all these new places to find in the poses in Yoga class.

Last night I pushed too hard in class, I think. I managed to fight off the dizzyness, but my whole upper back and neck feel like somebody beat me with a bat. A small bat, to be sure, but a bat nonetheless.

I think this part of my back has basically been frozen - when I move my shoulders, my shoulder-blades make this gross clicking noise as the bones scrape against each other. The tightness back there is enough to make veteran massage therapists express surprise.  I think I'm just starting to heal and break down that area, and that's where the discomfort is coming from.   Still, I'm grouchy as hell this morning.  I'm reminded of something Mary says in class from time to time, variations on, "It's hard to be enlightened when your spine is in pain." (Pardon the misquote, if I have...)

Ow.

Day 16: Past Halfway

PAST HALFWAY!!!!!

I won't say it's easy.... but it's definitely easier. My focus and concentration have come back, and every day I feel lighter and more expansive. My dreams and daydreams are filled with leaping flips and flight.

I feel like my appreciation for food has (and will remain) changed. I don't want food in a hurry - just because I want to be able to savor and indulge every little bit of every little bite. I want to spend days making Thomas Keller and Grant Aschatz recipes. (Though I don't want to buy any sodium alcinate).

It's funny - I didn't get into this challenge for the purpose of doing a cleanse. Honestly, I mostly did it to see if I could, and because I could tell my body needed clean nutrition and this was the easiest way to do it. If I had decided to do something involving prepared food, I would not have been able to keep it up, or it would have been incredibly expensive.  But, though I didn't do this to cleanse, the cleansing effects have been so obvious and dramatic.  All the yucky crap that came out of my lungs and sinuses, to say the least...

I feel like the cleansing has moved out of the physical and into the emotional and energy. I have so much more conscious control over my focus than I did just a few days ago, I have such an easier time maintaining calm and not getting carried away or upset about anything.

I would recommend this journey to absolutely anyone and everyone.

Day 15 pt 2: So close to halfway...

I'm two drinks away from being HALFWAY DONE.

And... in some weird miracle... today I'm a focus machine.  Concentration, focus, all of them are through the roof.

Day 15: Through the fog

The dizzyness is gone! The dizzyness is gone!!!

I feel light and glowy today. I am curious how long my concentration will last. Most days it seems to fizzle out around 3pm. 

According to that juicefasting link, I should be getting into the last phase of cleansing - glowing for the next 15 days or so. Here's hoping!

Super helpful information

This describes my experience so far, pretty much to the letter. If this is to be believed, sometime around day 16 (Thursday), I should be in cleansing nirvana!

http://www.juicefasting.org/detox.htm

Day 14 pt 2: Soup Cheater

I went home early from work today. I was still dizzy from yesterday's collapse, and still felt weak. I slept for a few hours, and when I woke up, I decided, with some determination: I SHALL HAVE SOUP.

It's kinda cheating, but... I think the wise path through this fast is to listen to my body - not to be indulgent with cravings - but to listen. If I'm so weak I can't work and sleep all day, I need more than what I'm giving myself.  So... Let Them Eat Soup!  (but just a little).

Interesting info on dizzyness and fasting

This article describes pretty much 100% of how I feel.

http://chestofbooks.com/health/Isabelle-A-Moser/How-and-When-to-Be-Your-Own-Doctor/Common-Fasting-Complaints-And-Discomforts.html

Day 14: Collapse

I collapsed in yoga last night. It was gradual - nothing exciting or dramatic, but still a bit frightening.  I had noticed that, towards the end of the standing series, I was feeling weaker and weaker, and my balance was off. Then, just as the first set of Triangle finished, I felt a distinct 'moment' of release in my body, like the cords had all just been cut.  I was instantly super dizzy - as though my inner ear had been swollen or otherwise messed up.  I sat down and waited for the floor series - but when it came time for the sit-ups, I just couldn't do them. It wasn't like, "this is hard, and I don't want to push harder", but instead like a complete failure - the muscles were simply not responding to instructions. 

So, I left class. I haven't left class since teacher training. I probably would have felt embarrassed or ashamed, but in this case, I was so freaked out that I wasn't thinking about it.  My whole body was shaking. I drank a juice and laid down. Later, I tried to walk back to work with Stacy, but couldn't make it, and she went to get the car to drive me home.

Mary gave me a big bag of navel oranges, and when I got home, Stacy made me Lentil soup.  I've made a mental note of the brand and type of Lentil soup. I want to try it when I'm back in the 'real' world and see if it is, in fact, the most delicious thing in the world. Because last night, it was.

I couldn't sleep, so I stayed awake reading the new 'Art of War' translation. Today I feel a little better, but still dizzy, like something is wrong in my brain.  I can't help but ask myself the question - is this bad? Is this malnutrition? Or am I breaking through some serious detox walls?

I have enough strength to continue, and at this point, it's no longer that difficult to just have the juice. So, I continue.  BRING IT ON. 

Concentration

Still having tremendous difficulty focusing, particularly at the end of the day.

Day 13. Changes sinking deeper.

Coffee tastes wrong today. I guess this is the last thing to go - I've gotten rid of the fruit bowl in the morning, and yesterday I did not resort to the "part of an avocado" cheat.  But I've been perfectly content to continue drinking coffee - I figure you have to have an outlet somewhere, even if it does mean you're doing ten steps forward, one step back.

But today the coffee is bitter and stale tasting. I don't think they made a mistake making it, I think I'm just noticing how icky coffee can be, at its core. I sincerely hope this change isn't permanent. I love my morning coffee.

I'm starting to feel more and more small, subtle changes. My flexibility is through the roof, and I seem to just have a much more nuanced control over my body. I did cartwheels and roundoffs while we were at Pixar this weekend, and I was amazed at how light and agile I feel.

Almost half way.

Day 11-12. Starting not to notice...

It's getting easier, in the sense that it's no longer novel, and I'm no longer spending all of my time thinking about it.

I had another weird and wonderful abstinance brunch today. Brunch is overwhelmingly my favorite meal. My birthday meals are always "breakfast for dinner". I pretty much like it all, but I particularly love when traditional dishes have been refined in some interesting and clever way. Baked eggs in a metal crock pan, roasted tomatoes, sauteed mushrooms... I love it all. Today I went to brunch with a bunch of friends, sat in the sun, and sipped coffee while my friends ordered and ate. In some strange way, I feel like I got almost as much enjoyment from brunch as I would if I had eaten. The smells, the imagining the food from the description in the menu, the beautiful balance between soft and crisp where toasted...

The fasting magnifies my sense of smell. It's wonderful - I feel like I can smell fresh herbs from a block away, and smelling food, deeply, feels satisfying, almost as though there were some consumption involved.

I'm so glad I'm doing this. The journey is strange and inward. I like how it's about so much more than just food - about the idea of reward, the ways we show caring and comfort. I like seeing how food is a focal point for so much human expertise and the urge we have to create beautiful things... and eat them.