My friend Kevin used to be in a "yoga cult", to use his words. In these last days before my exit, I've been noticing that everything's going crazy. The chaos is mounting, everything is crazy and urgent, and I feel like I won't have time to do all of the things I have to do before I leave, much less spend time with the people I won't be seeing for ten weeks. In response to my frenzied agitation, Kevin wrote me this today:
"When I was in my yoga cult, I took a bunch of retreats. It was like teacher training stuff, but 5 days at a time and over the course of 3 yrs. Every time I was to go to one, things got crazy in my life and there was great difficulty breaking away from it. Every single time, it was weird. I came to regard it as a thing. Like gravity and I was a rocket, and my will was the fuel. Pretty soon you will be on your way and you'll have forgotten all about this, cause it won't matter at all."
I'm comforted by this.
I've been flippantly saying to people this morning, "today is my last day as a visual effects artist". I've only been kidding when I said it, but it also feels like it is partially true. I definitely feel like I'm shedding a skin today. I don't think things will be quite the same when I return.