Juice Fast Progress

Wednesday, April 26, 2006

Screw you guys, I'm going home...

No. More. Yoga. Camp.

So... tired. Behind on memorizing my dialogue. Have tons of raw food ingredients to cook, but too tired to do it. Need to eat more, too tired to find food to eat. Can't imagine making it through 7 more classes this week. Have no idea how to integrate the comments I've been given into my dialogue. Miss Clodagh terribly, miss my friends, miss stupid video games. I'm not even losing weight.

Blah. Meh. Hrmph.


allen said...

So tonight after a grueling day of trying to figure out why the veronoi noise function the Duckweed shader is based on crawl on my water surface, I sat down with a can of wine (they sell them at the miramar New World, and I saw them and thought "Holy shit. A CAN of wine? Where does that rank on the scale of Ghettoness compared to Franzia? Could arguements be made that the can taste is inherently complimentary when compared to cardboard taste, or is it dependent on the varietal, or what? I HAVE to know!") and turned on the Discovery Channel, and they were doing this special where they talked about being stranded in a dire situation involving electrolye depletion. I'm nto sure if it was one of those "on a desert island" scenarios or what...I kidn of tuned in after the first commercial break and was checking my email at the same time so the context was a bit lost. ANYWAY, they said that in a pinch, if you're in some sort of situation where you're too tired to cook and too tired to scavenge for food and all that, that if you could find a way to recycle your own sweat, you could survive. I mean, think about it...you got electrolytes in your body, and you sweat a lot, so where are those electrolytes going? That's right...right into your sweat. And what's that sweat being caught and soaked up by? That's right...stretchy yoga speedos. So THINK about it, man! After yoga, what do you do with those speedos? You wash them, THROWING AWAY PERFECTLY GOOD ELECTROLYTES!! What a slap in the face to mother nature! So anyway as they were saying this and I leapt up from my chair, nearly spilling my wine in a can (it tastes sort of like Red Bull without the fizz...you know, like squozen Pez), and thought (but abstained from shouting) "EUREKA! I MUST TELL MY DEAR FRIEND ABOUT THIS DISCOVERY I HAVE MADE!" So man, next time you feel all fatigued, you gotta remember that it's from electrolyte depletion, and then you gotta find those yoga speedos and suck on them like the dickens. Suck those electrolytes outta them and right back into your system where they belong!

allen said...

I'm totally joshing you Chris. We don't have the discovery channel in New Zealand. Ha ha ha.

Taisuke said...

i'm going to build my own empire of yoga sport drinks composed of the sweat of other yoga students. imagine an icy cold glass of this beverage, complimented by the clink of yoga sweat (tm) ice cubes floating in it. mmmmmmm!

shit, if that hairy monkey looking japanese dude can start a cult and charge people $10,000 to drink his dirty ass bathwater, i sure as hell can market the sweat from hot, sexy, sweaty yogis!

Adrian Walker said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Adrian Walker said...

Yo chris,
I only stood behind you in a couple of classes, but man you became a hero for me.. here is a tall guy that can do all this bendy shit... how can i get as good as him, without pain. Well know im in pain and working hard to be as good as you and you have gone of to be a yogi, so seems like there is no chance.

Seems when the body breaks down you have to go someplace else, and the mind offers little shelter.

Bro my thoughts are with you and in the voice of Winston Churchill at the battle of Dunkirk "Never, Never, Never, Never, Never, Never, Never, Give Up" Thats all he said.

Kris Ardent said...

Maybe you need a new menu plan? One that involves a weeks worth of individually packaged meals from the the hot food bar at Whole Foods, and a lot of V-8? Let's talk. OR you could hire a personal chef for about $300 a week plus the cost of groceries. You could even give them the menus and recipes you already have and say "go do that." Drinking the sweat from your yoga pants is also a good idea. Or you could just give up and come home. Yeah, that one. :D

Neekeela said...

Not losing weight IS insult to injury. But you're hot at any size. I know cause I seen ya. You're doing awesome.

Stef said...

You don't have to suck on your yoga pants. Just squeeze them into your water bottle like lemons! Heck, do your towel too!

Seriously, I SWEAR Bikram used to have a student back in the days when his studio was on Wilshire Blvd, who actually DID save his sweat. I shudder at the thought of what he did with it... Eventually Bikram asked him not to save it anymore, as the little tupperware next to his mat slowly being filled with sweat (which he wrung out of lord knows what!) was disgusting the other students, if only they had had a friend like Allen, they would have been more understanding! ; )

Don't fret, Chris, there is always a time (or some times?!) you think this training thing is either impossible, or mad, or both. In reality, it is definitely mad, but not impossible, because you are already doing it! And you will make it - only 5 classes left this week!
Patience, persistence.

Then, be ready - you will have to buy a whole new wardrobe, because your body WILL change...but you know what they say about a watched pot!

OR, you could see if they have 'wine in the can' at Ralphs? Nah. Save that treat for your triumphant return home - Jaya & I will buy!

(If you still feel down & out, you should read this amazing blog: www.humunkhumunk.blogspot.com. It is inspiring yogis around the world!)