Juice Fast Progress

Sunday, May 28, 2006

Oh, IT'S ON.

Craig announced in Friday's evening class that sometime in the next two weeks we will have an "Awkward 2-off". I know it's not really the point of all of this to be competing and being macho, unnecessarily, but...

I. AM. GOING. TO. WIN. THIS. CONTEST.

The current record is (staggeringly), TWO MINUTES AND FORTY FIVE SECONDS. I have absolutely no idea if I can do this, but I think I can. There's just one problem, one thing standing in my way. My fellow trainee, Kathy (Cathy?), who is a former national triathlon champion and also the female winner of the IronMan Hawaii Triathlon. (Kathy Kinz-Smith, if you're one of those searchy people...). She's relentlessly focused and disciplined and a NATIONAL TRIATHLON CHAMPION. She's light, has very little body fat, highly trained muscles, and presumably perfect focus. She informed me this evening, in a little fun bit of smack-talking, that she will not be allowing me to win, under any circumstances. She's already practicing at home to hit three minutes.

Fortunately, I'm not too wound up about this. I'm determined to give it everything I've got, and know when it's done that I did all I could do. But, I know I have a lot of muscle mass and a somewhat heavy body. I also know that I've only been training for a comparatively short time and that winning contests isn't the reason I'm doing this. So, if I lose, I don't think I'll be too disappointed. And if I win... heh heh... I'll be unable to walk for a day or two.

Two minutes and forty five seconds. Jesus. Okay. Bring it on. Go go gadget thighs. Wish me luck, y'all.

7 comments:

Taisuke said...

chris! bring it on. You are the man, what a great attitude. when you can accept the outcome (win or lose) graciously, then you are already the winner.

cool dude. I will be watching the blog for the outcome. Best of luck. Drink lots of water and eat some bananas the night before. :-)

love you!!
Brenda

ps - if you ever decide to give up your job at Weta you should become a writer... oh, and by the way, taisuke and I saw X-Men today... "I'm the jugernaut, bitch". yeah, it was cool. miss you tons!

Kris Ardent said...

We shall solemnly pray not only for your crushing victory, but also for the demise of your hubristic opponent in this epic battle. May her descendants know shame for generations to come.

Kris Ardent said...

Oh yeah! There's medals, right?

Taisuke said...

put a gold star over your speedos on your you-know-what. the gold star will suck all of cathy's mojo and channel it into your thighs via your noodly appendage.

Christopher Horvath said...

Gack!!! Just did two test runs here in the apartment, and did NOT do well. Kathy's reporting 1:42, and I crapped out twice at 1:07. Impressive that I crapped out twice in a row at the same exact time, but still...

I had 1:40 a few days ago - maybe I used a bad timer.

I'll have to starve myself to lighten up and inject anabolic steroids directly into my thighs. Yeah, that's the ticket.

Kris Ardent said...

Whatever it takes, man. Whatever it takes.

Megan Collier said...

It will just end in tears...

Shes bluffing, Im sure of it!